I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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