so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
