your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
