he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
