guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
