Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
