So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
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