i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
