I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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