Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
