actually, I'm a sock model
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Actions speak louder than pants.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
