check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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