He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize