carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
