Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
