it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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