she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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