well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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