dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
