Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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