i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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