I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
