Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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