In the future we'll all be gay
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dignity is for republicans.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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