Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
