I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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