This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Two words: blizzard sex
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
