Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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