butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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