I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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