I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
