I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
