wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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