By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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