Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
pray to the hookup gods
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
