the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
