Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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