I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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