I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
