you guys were way drunker than both of me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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