I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sext me about skeletons
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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