craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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