you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
