Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize