Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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