Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
