K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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