Im at strip club and am horny
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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