i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
did i just pee glitter
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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