So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
