Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
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So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
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i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.