Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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