so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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