Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize