So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
