Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
