I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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