I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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