how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I want a musical about memes.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
