What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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