I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
