ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize