Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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