you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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