Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
