NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
