i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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